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Overall
Vision
Originality
Technique
Impact
Vision wise I don't think this makes any vision at all since it's like a random drawing type to me XD so basically low score on that. However if it did depict an obvious story that anyone can clearly imagine I think that would help. Clearly, she's a character that can be put into a story, and an awesome one (imo).
Originality wise, of course, each to their own, and I think it could grow and be better in terms of her design. Although I'm not a mecha artist this will still impress me XD. I also like the symmetry, until I see the hands (don't worry I've got worse struggles than you lol just practice I bet you'd reach to your style of hand drawing).
Technique. I like sketchy art, I do sketchy art style. It's divine to me XD. But colour technique, well you could explore more. Keep at it (let's grow together XD)!
Impact, as I say in Originality, it could grow better.
Over-all. I hope you develop greatly. If you want to focus in line art you best practice how to make your lines more stable and not shaky <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt="" data-embed-type="emoticon" data-embed-id="391" title=" (Smile)"/>. Even in heavy line arts having a fine line in between gives a good impression and look to the art. Good Luck to both of us.